We all seek love and connection. It’s a natural human trait to want to bond and share with others. Are you single and ready to mingle? Are you divorced or widowed and ready to hit the dating arena to give love another try?
But, inescapably, the question pops: Where do I start? We aren’t in our 20s anymore and meeting people may not be as easy as it once was.
Moreover, many of us have been single for a while and have learned to savor this state of being. Still a good number of us over 50 yearn for companionship and a partner to share life with – which poses its fair share of strives and perplexities.
Online dating has become a trendy and easy way to meet new people. It may sound a little complicated at first, but many great (senior) love stories have begun from an online meeting on a dating site.
Some dating sites are geared towards young people seeking first loves or short-term opportunities (they call them hook-ups nowadays). There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but chances are you want a little more stability and someone that you can relate to.
It’s important to choose dating sites that will actually have appropriate prospects for you – meaning, people in your age group and in your area..
When you choose the dating site of your preference, the first thing you need to do is create a profile. This includes telling a little bit – or as much – about yourself as you want and adding some photos. You will have the opportunity to state what you are seeking and enter some match preferences.
Do you prefer tall men who don’t smoke? Do you seek a sports enthusiast? Do you want to keep your options limited to your local area or broaden your horizon? You decide.
Choose photos of yourself that are current, not blurry, and that show your face and eyes well. It’s best to post photos where you are natural and that best represents you and your life.
Most dating sites have the messaging option, and this is where your potential suitors will get in touch with you. Don’t feel the need to answer every message you receive, but do look at the profiles and decide if you want to respond or not.
Humans are very visual and when it comes to online dating the reality is that your photos are the first impressions that someone will get of you. Adding the wrong photos to your profile may send a negative message without you knowing.
If you don’t have any photos that you like ask a friend to take some photos of you. Or better yet, hire a professional photographer to take portraits of you.
Online dating sites can get overwhelming, and you will need some time to get used to the interface and how it all works. When you fill out your profile well and have reasonable expectations, you can assume you will get to chat with interesting people and possibly meet a suitable partner.
Most people on the website are just like you and probably looking for the same thing you are – companionship and someone to do activities with. Make your intentions clear from the start and let the people you start communicating with know what you are looking for. Some people are looking for long-term commitments and relationships, some are looking for casual dating, and others are looking for one-night stands. Make sure you don’t end up in a situation that is not compatible with your needs.
We’ve all heard horror stories about men scamming women on dating sites. This is a reality that we need to consider, so it’s important to not share too much information in the beginning.
Don’t give your telephone number or any other personal information until you have had several conversations and feel like the person is genuine.
Treva Brandon Scharf is an ICF-certified life coach and dating expert and also a first-time wife at 51. She mentions that staying safe when dating online is imperative for anyone at any age, but especially for women over 50.
Midlife single women may be smarter and wiser, but they can also be more lonely and vulnerable, and prone to scams and cons. Don’t be fooled!
Jason Lee, a dating coach and communications expert, teaches older singles to always mind three things when it comes to online dating sites: “Number one, trust your intuition. Number two, protect your personal information. And number three, when in doubt, ask for help.”
Indeed, if you find yourself wondering whether a suitor is genuine, you can reach out to the dating platform’s customer service. After all, you’re paying them a fee, and they are legally bound to help you feel protected.
Verify that a person is being transparent by doing a little checking up on Google and social media accounts. You don’t have to become “friends” on Facebook in order to verify that he has a profile photo that matches the ones on the dating website and that some basic information matches what he is telling you. If he doesn’t have ANY social media accounts or some kind of online presence, that’s a red flag.
When it’s time to meet your new match in person, it’s important to meet someplace public and somewhere you feel safe. Do not invite a person you have never met to your place, and it’s best to not have them pick you up at your house. Also, let a friend or family know that you are meeting a new person for a date and let them know the location.
My #1 pick for online dating sites is eHarmony. It is known to have the most genuine people looking for commitment and long-term relationships. There’s an extensive personality test that each new member takes to determine their lifestyles, goals, and traits.
The website then matches you with potential partners according to the results of the test. I like that as you don’t have to filter through thousands and thousands of profiles before finding the right kind of suitors. eHarmony does the leg-work for you!
The free version is very restrictive, and you don’t get to see member photos or send personal messages. Having to pay a monthly fee seems to assure that the members are serious about their activity on eHarmony. And you can take advantage of their reduced monthly promotion when you sign up.
Match.com is one of the oldest online dating websites out there. They have over 20 years of match-making experience. Unlike eHarmony, Match lets you scour through the several thousands of profiles and you, as well, will appear on other members’ feeds.
Match has a 6-month guarantee where if you don’t find love in the first six months, the following six months are free. Like eHarmony, the free version is very restrictive.
Every member on Senior Match is over 45. This makes it easier to find a suitable and age-appropriate partner. What I like about Senior Match is that it is not only a dating site but also a great place to find a travel buddy or people to do activities with.
Silver Singles is another site dedicated to the mature daters. It offers a comprehensive questionnaire upon signing up to assess your personality and lifestyle.
The site only shows you five suitable matches per day. This is a good site if you feel overwhelmed at the thought of going through thousands of profiles and don’t like fast-paced dating. This method lets you slow down and think about the potential matches being offered to you.
Our Time is exclusively a community for people over 50 who are looking not only for romance but also for travel companions, someone to do local activities with, and much more. It’s a laid-back atmosphere with no pressure.
Date My Age is a website with members that are mostly over 45. They also verify that their members are real so you can feel more at ease with your new matches.
As the name implies, Elite SIngles is a dating website for people with higher education profiles and successful careers. The website is not specifically aimed at seniors but they do mention that most of their members are over 30.
Live in the UK? Restless Dating is for people over 50 in the UK looking to connect with like-minded people the same age. Their two-way matching feature will help you find singles with similar interests.
Armed with useful resources and helpful tips, there is no reason why you shouldn’t get on the online dating bandwagon. Have fun and stay safe.
Most dating websites will have a free version to use. These free versions are typically restrictive. The sites that have the best free options are Silver Singles and Our Time.But remember, paying members tend to be more serious and invested in their online dating process.
First, stop and block communications with the person in question. Second, report the profile to the website support team. Also, speak to some trusted friends or family members. They will always have your best interest at heart and help you verify that the person you are communicating with is real or not.
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